Poems ✍️

Living saints seem to be an endangered species
though nobody complains

so how about the ‘sustainable’ bit?
How To Be a Saint isn’t yet in that
expanding Idiot’s Guide series

however

there is a Path, a Way
right at the tips of your fingers
though have your blood pressure
checked first

automated complaints

and I’m sure I don’t need
to spell that out for you

the one that you can’t even get through to make;
the options that don’t include yours;
the hanging on, because
we value your call;
the background music
like that loop from
Mendelsohn’s violin concerto
like a continuously thwarted orgasm
without a climax

so here’s the perfect practice

run through a checklist
of the required virtues;
western religions tend to run to
quite a few; but Indians
love enumeration – they’ve been at it
for thousands of years; and now
they’re Call Centre International
it could be a growth industry

I’ve got a fine list here from the Jains
which is especially practical
since they don’t require subscribing
to a specific image of the god
who’s running all this, remember:

you could take one virtue a day to practice
or just have the checklist there beside
the telephone – I guess
if this catches on, there’ll be
an illustrated poster to hang there
in exquisite medieval illumination

so for when you get through to a human being,
or better, while you’re waiting,
here’s the first nine of the ten:

forgiveness;
humility;
straightforwardness;
truth;
restraint from anger, abuse, etc;
penance; (you could settle there for patience..)
non-attachment;
indifference to any kind of gain or loss;
cleanliness of soul, mind, body;

I guess by now you’re
either laughing or crying;
both have their uses
on the way to sainthood;

oh yes, the tenth,
supreme sex-control;
not sure if that applies, apart from monks etc.,
but it might somehow

anyway, there’s nine
for you to practice on meanwhile;
I don’t need to advise you on
which institutions will help you most by their hindrance;
you already have that list?
if not, press…