Poems ✍️

There’s an infectious bug
racing through the British meeja
especially TV and radio,
corrupting every interview,
reducing interviewers and
viewers to mindlessness
and no-one notices,
no-one tries to stop it:

H.O.W.

‘How pleased are you to have won this match? ’ or
‘How sorry are you to have lost this fight? ’

That’s on a scale of…?

In the legal profession, that’s known as
a ‘leading question’ – as in
‘How sorry are you to have killed your wife? ’

‘Hey, wait a minute, mate, I din’ kill ‘er,
I fort this was menna be a cor’ a law…? ’

They’re all infected – in a mere matter of a month or two..

What are you supposed to answer?
The incompetent interviewers leave
their poor victim - modest, proud, speechless -
squirming on the hook –
how are they supposed to answer?

‘Well, not particularly pleased,
since he was an under-achieving also-ran
that my manager picked for this fight
as his last pay-cheque before retiring
and to boost my ratings and
my managers’ ten-per…’

‘Well, not particularly sorry,
since my manager says the rematch will bring in
even more dosh and
it’s a sure thing and paid for
that I’ll beat him…’

* * *

So how pleased are you to be alive
to read this useful heads-up,
- on a scale, say, of
Genesis to Revelation?