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I thought that I had wavy hairUntil I shaved. Instead,I find that I have straight hairAnd a very wavy head.

(To be said in one breath)Elaine gives me a pain,Gill makes me ill,Winnie is a ninny,Orin is borin'Milly is silly,Rosy is nosy,Junie is loony,Gussie..

God says to me with a kind of smile,'Hey how would you like to be God awhileAnd steer the world?''Okay,' says I, 'I'll give it a try.Where do I..

I am writing these poemsFrom inside a lion,And it's rather dark in here.So please excuse the handwritingWhich may not be too clear.But this afternoon..

I've discovered a way to stay friends forever--There's really nothing to it.I simply tell you what to doAnd you do it!!

Elvis he's a hero he's a superstarAnd I hear that Paul McCartney drives a Rolls Royse carAnd Dylan sings for millionsAnd I just sing for freeOh..

Oh, the thumb-sucker's thumbMay look wrinkled and wetAnd withered, and white as the snow,But the taste of a thumb Is the sweetest taste yet(As only..

Now I'm warnin' all you women don't stand too close to me cause you might catch fireNow you're talkin' to a man in a whole other kind of bagWell I'm..

Knock knock!Who's there?Me!Me who?That's right!What's right?Meehoo!That's what I want to know!What's what you want to know?Me, who?Yes..

I tried on the farmer's hat,Didn't fit…A little too small - just a bitToo floppy.Couldn't get used to it,Took it off.I tried on the dancer's shoes,A..

Said General Clay to General Gore,'Oh must we fight this silly war?To kill and die is such a bore.''I quite agree,' said General Gore.Said General..

This boat that we just built is just fine--And don't try to tell us it's not.The sides and the back are divine--It's the bottom I guess we forgot....

Rome was not built in a day

Roll my log and I will roll yours

Respect yourself, or no one else will respect you

Repentance is good, but innocence is better

Rats desert a sinking ship

Rain at seven, fine at eleven

Put not your hand between the bark and the tree

Prosperity makes friends, and adversity tries them

Promise little, but do much

Promise is debt

Procrastination is the thief of time

Pride goes before a fall

Praise is not pudding